Remember

Allison Krause

Jeffrey Miller

Sandra Scheuer

William Schroeder



One Mississippi

Two Mississippi

Three Mississippi

Four Mississippi

Five Mississippi

Six Mississippi

Seven Mississippi

Eight Mississippi

Nine Mississippi

Ten Mississippi

Eleven Mississippi

Twelve Mississippi

Thirteen Mississippi

In those thirteen seconds, 40 years ago on May 4, 1970. Those four people named above were shot by the National Guard. Killed because they did not agree with a war. Killed because they were exercising their First Amendment Rights. No one was charged with their deaths or of the injury of 9 other people.

In those thirteen seconds 9 other people were wounded. Making 13 people shot for each second a gun was going off.

In those thirteen seconds a sister, brother, son, daughter, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, cousin, grandchild were killed.

In those thirteen seconds, lives were changed around the country.

In those thirteen seconds, people who questioned our government, had a true, blood red, right in front of them reason. It wasn't overseas anymore. It wasn't from seeing someone they knew come home from a thoughtless, political war. It was on their doorstep. It was in their face.



Injured for life:

Alan Canfora

John Cleary

Thomas Grace

Dean Kahler

Joseph Lewis

Donald McKenzie

James Russell

Robert Stamps

Douglas Wrentmore

In those thirteen seconds dreams, hope, trust, lives, and respect were shattered.

Remember them. Pray for them.

Stripped bare

I always lived life before on a complete whim. I never took responsibility serious. I never truly worried about things. If I didn't have a job, I walked into a place that was hiring and got it. To say I was free isn't true. I was weighted down by a feeling of emptiness. What I had was good, but knowing that it wasn't the best was always in the back of my mind. If anything, I ran from that feeling. I ran from looking at myself deeply. I ran from the quiet introspective that comes as night slips in. At times memories are vague, not because I can't remember them, but because I never really was living the moment in them. It is like telling a story about someone else. You know some details, but nothing concrete.

Now it is completely different. I have almost daily documentation showing what I have. I have a husband who grounds me when I need it, and who helps me fly when necessary. I have friends that I cherish and make plans to see even when we all know they might not happen. I take time to stop when the trees seem greener than they ever have. I stop and listen as my children squeal with joy because they see the purity of what is around them. At times the energy in our house is almost tangible.

We are on a new path today. J didn't get the job he applied for. As I laid on the bed thinking about what we were going to do, I heard our boys laughing. I heard birds singing. I heard reminders of life. It is so easy for me to slip into the mind set that I used to have. It would be so easy for me to just pull back and not live in this moment of our life. I refuse to do that. I did it for most of my life and I can't climb back down into that hole. Even now as I write this, I have to fight off negative thoughts. What about winter coming? What will we do if J can't find a job? Will our boys be unhappy? They are poison to my soul.

So, what do I plan on doing? I plan on closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, and pushing myself back from that hole. We're on a journey together. We have two paths in front of us right now. Both will probably lead to the same end, but only we can choose the means of how to get to that end.