Monday, July 18, 2011

29 in 29 days

Purge. v.
a. To free from impurities; purify.
b. To remove (impurities and other elements) by or as if by cleansing.

I will be 29 in 29 days. It is time to purge. It is time to get ready to become 30. For some, turning 30 (or even approaching that age) is hard. For me, it is a milestone that I am not too scared of. I've always looked at 30 as an age when I will truly be a woman and it will only get better from then on out. For some reason, it is a magical number to me. But before all of this begins - before I can approach my "magical number" - things need to be purged. I can't explain this need to get rid of things, but I know it has a lot to do with me looking closely at my life lately.

I have felt very blessed in the last year. It is an odd sensation. I realized that I am very hard on myself. I tear myself down with small things. I don't build myself up and I hardly compliment myself. I feel as if I do those positive things, I am bragging - yet I have no problem being internally harsh. If I heard someone say the things I say to myself, I'd think them an awful, dark, negative person. This quote has stopped me in my tracks: you whisper the loudest in your own ear.

It is time to purge. It is a scary revelation. I need to purge things from my 20's. So, starting tomorrow, I'm walking down an unknown path and for some reason, I feel nauseously excited.

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