Crap.
For a split second I thought I just shouldn't say I was indeed who Mr.Helpful thought I was. I mean, the guy didn't even know my name. Right? But how do you do that to a stranger who gets you coffee on a dreary winter's day. So, with every intention of holding a small conversation, I turned and unknowingly faced the one person who would end up saving me from one of the darkest most lonely times of my life. And when I faced Mr.Helpful, I knew exactly who he was. Actually, I knew about him and had briefly met him before, but so briefly I only remembered his name and that he seemed nice.
My first impression was right. Mr.Helpful was nice - so nice in fact that before I even knew what was happening, we were laughing over an odd small town story in the newspaper and hours had breezed by us. And before I really, really knew what was happening, Mr.Helpful and I had come to a point where we were just talking, but it was obvious neither of us wanted to leave. And then came the words I unknowingly didn't want to hear: "I've got to go." Which were followed closely by, "What are you doing today?".
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Coffee
There is something almost ritualistic about making coffee. One step rushed or forgotten, one scoop too heavy or light, and nothing is the same. When I was younger and kid-less, I would start my day off with a smoke and a cup of coffee. There was something comforting in waking up with the silence of the morning and just being. My mornings now are filled with the noise of boys playing legos and all of us heading off to school, but I cherish the days that J leaves a fresh cup of coffee for me before he fills his Thermos for work.
J and I actually started our path together over a cup of coffee in a greasy spoon joint. I had come to a point in my life where things were not working the way they should. I had lost my place to stay the day before J and I ran into each other. I spent the night at my cousin's place, and instead of going to church with them, I decided to go for a drive. It was cold and gray outside with a nasty mix of rain and snow spitting from the sky. I remember feeling so lost that day. I had strayed from who I wanted to be, and no one seemed close. I was deep in the middle of a poor me moment, when I decided I'd go see a friend at her work. I looked horrible. My eyes showed signs of crying through the night, I slept in my clothes, and I had to leave where I was staying quickly, so there was no thought of a toothbrush. I was (as my 19yr old self would have said) "looking pretty hit". Shell (my friend) worked at an old restaurant in town, so I figured I'd have a cup of coffee, continue to feel sorry for myself, and figure out how in the world I could get a shower and my stuff. But, there were other plans set in motion that day that would change my life forever.
As I walked in, I saw a guy sitting to the right of the counter. I made sure I went to the left - far to the left. Shell came by to see me and promised to come back to grab me a cup of coffee. As she walked away, I heard a voice from my right say, "I'll get one for you." "Crap" I thought, "Crappity crap". Out of all days, I have to run into someone helpful. But he spoke of coffee. How could I resist? Mr. Helpful was walking around the counter at this point.
"I'm a regular, so I just grab my own coffee. Want me to get some for you?"
I was able to muster out a "Sure. Thanks" all the while freaking out inside because this meant I had to face Mr. Helpful. And *I* looked worn - which didn't mean I was interested in what Mr.Helpful thought of me, but you see, in my poor me moment, I forgot one of my major rules in life: Never leave the house looking bad because it will be at that point, you run into someone you know or be in a position where you should look at least half way put together. A recurring image of my grandmother as she stood looking in a mirror by her dining room table making sure her lipstick was perfect and her hair done before she left to go anywhere invaded my brain.
"Cream?"
"Uh..."
*oh my goodness..at least LOOK at the man*
"Yes.Thanks."
I thought I was in the clear as he walked back to his stool until he said, "You're Dana's sister, right?"
Crap.
J and I actually started our path together over a cup of coffee in a greasy spoon joint. I had come to a point in my life where things were not working the way they should. I had lost my place to stay the day before J and I ran into each other. I spent the night at my cousin's place, and instead of going to church with them, I decided to go for a drive. It was cold and gray outside with a nasty mix of rain and snow spitting from the sky. I remember feeling so lost that day. I had strayed from who I wanted to be, and no one seemed close. I was deep in the middle of a poor me moment, when I decided I'd go see a friend at her work. I looked horrible. My eyes showed signs of crying through the night, I slept in my clothes, and I had to leave where I was staying quickly, so there was no thought of a toothbrush. I was (as my 19yr old self would have said) "looking pretty hit". Shell (my friend) worked at an old restaurant in town, so I figured I'd have a cup of coffee, continue to feel sorry for myself, and figure out how in the world I could get a shower and my stuff. But, there were other plans set in motion that day that would change my life forever.
As I walked in, I saw a guy sitting to the right of the counter. I made sure I went to the left - far to the left. Shell came by to see me and promised to come back to grab me a cup of coffee. As she walked away, I heard a voice from my right say, "I'll get one for you." "Crap" I thought, "Crappity crap". Out of all days, I have to run into someone helpful. But he spoke of coffee. How could I resist? Mr. Helpful was walking around the counter at this point.
"I'm a regular, so I just grab my own coffee. Want me to get some for you?"
I was able to muster out a "Sure. Thanks" all the while freaking out inside because this meant I had to face Mr. Helpful. And *I* looked worn - which didn't mean I was interested in what Mr.Helpful thought of me, but you see, in my poor me moment, I forgot one of my major rules in life: Never leave the house looking bad because it will be at that point, you run into someone you know or be in a position where you should look at least half way put together. A recurring image of my grandmother as she stood looking in a mirror by her dining room table making sure her lipstick was perfect and her hair done before she left to go anywhere invaded my brain.
"Cream?"
"Uh..."
*oh my goodness..at least LOOK at the man*
"Yes.Thanks."
I thought I was in the clear as he walked back to his stool until he said, "You're Dana's sister, right?"
Crap.
Friday, February 25, 2011
And another thing...
So I couldn't help but post twice in one day. Plus, I get to share a really cool site that helps inspire others with beauty and spiritual nourishment.
The gals at Wild Olive are having a giveaway until March 1st. All you have to do to win one of their very cool hoodies is: "Like" them on Facebook, post about their giveaway on your blog, or follow them on Twitter.
Check out their other merchandise while you at their site. Who can resist a cute shirt?
The gals at Wild Olive are having a giveaway until March 1st. All you have to do to win one of their very cool hoodies is: "Like" them on Facebook, post about their giveaway on your blog, or follow them on Twitter.
Check out their other merchandise while you at their site. Who can resist a cute shirt?
Howdy
I wish I had something witty to write you. Some big adventure to tell you about that has kept me away from my blog. Some reason besides Facebook stalking that has sucked all my free time. The truth is, right before I went to come back to blog, life threw huge curve balls that sucked all the words out of me.
The truth is...I was forced to look at life from an angle that sucked. A friend, a young, young, friend was taken abruptly away from his beautiful family. J's grandmother was re-diagnosed with cancer (this time in her brain) and even though we had minimal contact with her, it sucked to watch her life fade. I watched an Aunt lose her father and mother within months of each other. They were role models for anyone, and were part of my good memories when I was little. Then another soul I know (a choir director from my high school) was whisked away entirely too early. 5 deaths all within 6-8 months of each other. 5 deaths that have had me on my knees more than anything in my life.
So I am slowly coming out of a weird, empty spot in my life. I hug J more. I cherish the warmth of my babies as they climb into bed with us. I complain less about small things. And I thank God for the life he has blessed me with. I've changed, yet I don't know where those changes will bring me.
On a much lighter note: We are doing pretty darn well. Weasel will be 7 next month, and Ferret is growing like a weed.
The truth is...I was forced to look at life from an angle that sucked. A friend, a young, young, friend was taken abruptly away from his beautiful family. J's grandmother was re-diagnosed with cancer (this time in her brain) and even though we had minimal contact with her, it sucked to watch her life fade. I watched an Aunt lose her father and mother within months of each other. They were role models for anyone, and were part of my good memories when I was little. Then another soul I know (a choir director from my high school) was whisked away entirely too early. 5 deaths all within 6-8 months of each other. 5 deaths that have had me on my knees more than anything in my life.
So I am slowly coming out of a weird, empty spot in my life. I hug J more. I cherish the warmth of my babies as they climb into bed with us. I complain less about small things. And I thank God for the life he has blessed me with. I've changed, yet I don't know where those changes will bring me.
On a much lighter note: We are doing pretty darn well. Weasel will be 7 next month, and Ferret is growing like a weed.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Shucks
Ripping out three layers of luan and three layers of tile (not to mention 8 layers of dirt) on a day that is close to 100 is seriously not the smartest thing to do.
Pictures to come later. If we don't pass out from heat exhaustion on our new floor.
Pictures to come later. If we don't pass out from heat exhaustion on our new floor.
Friday, July 23, 2010
*tap* *tap* Hello?!
I...uh..am back?
I am at a loss at where I should start on here again. I've recently realized that you should never say that you are busy, because life will come along and show you what busy really is for you.
There is alot floating around in my brain right now. There have been losses in our family, a certain 6 year old who talks back like it is a sport, preparing for a parent to move in, and school sneaking up for Weasel and I. This whole being an adult thing is very overrated.
So, this is what is going on this week:
We are starting behavior charts for the boys. They save my sanity, and I need to have them around again. It is so helpful for Weasel to see his progress.
J and I are getting ready to rip the floor out of our kitchen tomorrow. I am very excited to get a new floor! It is one spot in our house that has needed some TLC since we moved in - over 4 years ago. I can't wait to see how it will change the look of the kitchen. I'll do some before and after photos when we are done.
My mom and her boyfriend are moving back to the area and are staying with us until they find a place. It will be nice to catch up with them, and for them to save a bit of money not having to rush into a place that might not be exactly what they want.
My sister is no longer pregnant. I can't even put into words how strange and painful it has been to see them go through all of this. I can say that I am thankful that she is okay physically and that I have the utmost love and respect for anyone who suffers a miscarriage.
My nephew E calls me May now. It is close to a version of my name, and I love it.
Ferret's speech has improved so much lately that I can't tell him apart from Weasel most of the time.
Our summer has been eventful and filled with family. I would not have it any other way. We had our three nieces in with us for two weeks this summer. Their ages range from 16 (almost 17) to 8. It was wonderful seeing them and being immersed in all things girly while they were here.
So, that is a short run down of what has been going on. I hope everyone is having a great summer, and I promise I'll try to get my brain functioning enough to come on here more. xoxo
I am at a loss at where I should start on here again. I've recently realized that you should never say that you are busy, because life will come along and show you what busy really is for you.
There is alot floating around in my brain right now. There have been losses in our family, a certain 6 year old who talks back like it is a sport, preparing for a parent to move in, and school sneaking up for Weasel and I. This whole being an adult thing is very overrated.
So, this is what is going on this week:
We are starting behavior charts for the boys. They save my sanity, and I need to have them around again. It is so helpful for Weasel to see his progress.
J and I are getting ready to rip the floor out of our kitchen tomorrow. I am very excited to get a new floor! It is one spot in our house that has needed some TLC since we moved in - over 4 years ago. I can't wait to see how it will change the look of the kitchen. I'll do some before and after photos when we are done.
My mom and her boyfriend are moving back to the area and are staying with us until they find a place. It will be nice to catch up with them, and for them to save a bit of money not having to rush into a place that might not be exactly what they want.
My sister is no longer pregnant. I can't even put into words how strange and painful it has been to see them go through all of this. I can say that I am thankful that she is okay physically and that I have the utmost love and respect for anyone who suffers a miscarriage.
My nephew E calls me May now. It is close to a version of my name, and I love it.
Ferret's speech has improved so much lately that I can't tell him apart from Weasel most of the time.
Our summer has been eventful and filled with family. I would not have it any other way. We had our three nieces in with us for two weeks this summer. Their ages range from 16 (almost 17) to 8. It was wonderful seeing them and being immersed in all things girly while they were here.
So, that is a short run down of what has been going on. I hope everyone is having a great summer, and I promise I'll try to get my brain functioning enough to come on here more. xoxo
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Unfazed
You know you are a parent when the following occurs and you don't blink:
You see more butt shots than a gastroenterologist.
You can tell how bad a kid is in pain by the type of cry.
You actually teach your kid the diarrhea songs without thinking of public consequences once.
Your kitchen tools become tools of destruction or honor depending on the mood.
You giggle over things said like this, "Your scream is creepy, but you are beautiful."
You actually have a bathroom word run down before you leave the car. Do not say...
Your sink looks like this on occasion:
There are days when the fact that your armpits don't smell, the children are intact, and the house is standing is considered a good day.
You've rediscovered the joy of all types of spraying water.
You make up really off lyrics to kid songs with your spouse.
Sunshine, kid sweat, and sunblock is one of your favorite smell combos.
The surge of love you feel when a tiny hand slips into yours.
Referring a fight over a 6 inch piece of string is normal.
Finding cars shoved under your pillow makes you smile.
You are in awe that you and your spouse created the most amazing and complex mammals.
Sometimes you forget that they are mammals and not tiny, little brain sucking aliens.
You don't feel bad typing sentences like the above because humor is mandatory.
Your husband willingly agrees to go to the store, and you know that he is coming back with something for the boys that he thought of. Or is that only a thing that goes on in our house?
You actually wonder if there is any merit in the idea that peeing on a bad guy will make them go away. I mean, really, who wants to stick around someone who pees on them?
You type out a blog, mention bathroom stuff more than socially acceptable, and then realize maybe you need more alone time.
You see more butt shots than a gastroenterologist.
You can tell how bad a kid is in pain by the type of cry.
You actually teach your kid the diarrhea songs without thinking of public consequences once.
Your kitchen tools become tools of destruction or honor depending on the mood.
You giggle over things said like this, "Your scream is creepy, but you are beautiful."
You actually have a bathroom word run down before you leave the car. Do not say...
Your sink looks like this on occasion:
There are days when the fact that your armpits don't smell, the children are intact, and the house is standing is considered a good day.
You've rediscovered the joy of all types of spraying water.
You make up really off lyrics to kid songs with your spouse.
Sunshine, kid sweat, and sunblock is one of your favorite smell combos.
The surge of love you feel when a tiny hand slips into yours.
Referring a fight over a 6 inch piece of string is normal.
Finding cars shoved under your pillow makes you smile.
You are in awe that you and your spouse created the most amazing and complex mammals.
Sometimes you forget that they are mammals and not tiny, little brain sucking aliens.
You don't feel bad typing sentences like the above because humor is mandatory.
Your husband willingly agrees to go to the store, and you know that he is coming back with something for the boys that he thought of. Or is that only a thing that goes on in our house?
You actually wonder if there is any merit in the idea that peeing on a bad guy will make them go away. I mean, really, who wants to stick around someone who pees on them?
You type out a blog, mention bathroom stuff more than socially acceptable, and then realize maybe you need more alone time.
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